


Average

by kurukujo



Category: Original Work
Genre: Average Japanese Girl Yoshie Aki., Self-Esteem Issues, this is just a drabble i wrote for the hell of it honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 03:34:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6407089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurukujo/pseuds/kurukujo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The guys probably won't miss her, either way, so it's fine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Average

Yoshie Aki is an average Japanese girl with average Japanese interests. For as long as she will live, she will pursue average dreams, and partake in the average realization of the latter mentioned-

Or, so she's always been told. Yoshie  Aki, actually, wishes she weren't such an average girl on the outside. She wishes she was more outstanding; personality-wise, physically, socially. But it seems she just hasn't got the skills to do it, and everytime she tries to 'be unique', it backfires. And man, does it _backfire._

"A-and I just... I really don't know what to do about myself,"

This is pathetic. Going to a goukon and ending up talking about yourself? Yoshie, you just can't get it right, can you? No wonder the guy before you looks absolutely bored - if not even irritated. Is he irritated, though? Oh god. Is he? Panic sets in.

_This is why she tries to avoid talking to people out of her league._

"And, I'm, I'm sorry- I just... I kept babbling. I'm sorry. P-please, ignore me, if you want. I'm sorry." don't cry. _Don't cry._ The impulse to burst in tears is strong, but if she complies, it'll be worse than it already is. 

He doesn't respond, looking away towards his friends, who are talking about some baseball game. Probably. She doesn't know. Yoshie feels like puking, she feels like puking and crying at the same time, and oh, god. This, so far, the worst terrible goukon she's been at. Why didn't they go to a karaoke? She gets drunk, and at least there she has been able to make a friend or two that she (ableit super rarely) talks with!

Her friend notices the discomfort that is plastered on Yoshie's face, and asks "Are you okay?", which gets in response "Yes. Super. Duper. I'm super fine. I swear." she's trying to keep herself composed-- and she's not good at faking being calm. "I'm, no, actually..." an intake of sharp breath's taken; she's so uncomfortable she might _die._ "...I-I think I want to go home right now."

The guys probably won't miss her, either way, so it's fine. 

The problem is that, with her uncomfortable state, she always makes her friends feel guilty for having _maybe_ forced her to come along, when it isn't the case at all. 'No, you invited me, I wanted to come purely because I wanted to', Yoshie says. 'Yes, but if you feel so bad...' they say. 'No! I can't feel bad all the time, I-I need to socialize! I need to change myself!', she says. And her argument has reasoning good enough to not receive any responses.

The problem is that, even if she needs to change, she can't.

And she tried it all.

Even if she's an arts student, even if she's edging 20 years, Yoshie can't get ahold of herself. Her looks don't even make the situation better. Being exchanged for a yankee (which, honestly, isn't that bad as a guess, considering that she _was_ one) makes other people shy away from her, and it makes her socializing skills worse and awkward even more than they are already.

These are the thoughts that pass her mind as she says, "I'm sorry. I really need to go h-home. I'm sorry, Hoshi-chan." gets up with her bag, and runs out of the cafè as if her fucking life _depended_ on it. On running away from the hellhole that this goukon has suddendly evolved in, small drops of sweat on her forehead as she skips in her step. She needs to go somewhere isolated: not her home. Her mom would ask. Somewhere else. Somewhere safe.

And she opts going to the park. Sure, it's not like _nobody's_ there: it's just... emptier than most places. But it still works fine, because nobody knows her, she knows nobody, and thus, neither parties trouble eachother. It leaves her the chance to gather up all of her gear and instruments to draw something. After all, art is soothing for her when she's in times of stress. (though she still feels like puking right now may ease the situation more effectively)

Sketches of someone dying, crying, vomiting, the worst you can imagine is pictured in her drawings when she's anxious, and this is why she never shows those particular sketches to anyone. By anything and any person that walks by she's startled, clutching her drawings on her chest while her knees make for extra shielding.  Then she relaxes, and goes back to drawing again.

Indeed, Yoshie Aki is an average Japanese girl.

Struck with anxiety, socializing issues, and self-esteem problems.

**Author's Note:**

> I just felt like spurring out a little drabble about one of my favourite ocs, Yoshie Aki. She's mostly based around myself, though not quite much because of many differencies that separate us.
> 
> Either way, I would write more of her, but she's kind of fandomless so it's useless to throw her into contexts she doesn't belong in... so whatever. WHATEVER.


End file.
